con·ver·sa·tion   [kon-ver-sey-shuh

1. informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between persons; talk; colloquy.
2. an instance of this.
3. association or social intercourse; intimate acquaintance.

With last week’s post about “The conversation,” I wanted to discuss this vital part of online relationship building.

Inadvertently, I ended up demonstrating one aspect in particular – baiting. Also inadvertently, I showed how to not capitalise when your attractor bait does its job.

Pretty ironic, when the fundamental point of my post was that once your bait gets the attention you’re after you need to make the most of that attention.

This week, we bring you the follow-up:

7 Simple Rules For Improving Your Conversation

1. Make a connection

Before there can be any conversation, there needs to be a connection.

Be it a phonecall, be it an email, be it a chat with your neighbour over the backyard fence. Making that connection is the seed for your conversation.
 
This is what your attractor bait needs to do – connect you with an audience. This is also what all your other online communications channels are supposed do, albeit at a slightly different level. Your website, your blog, your email, your Facebook profile – all tools for making that connection.

2. Tell a story

People love stories. That’s why anecdotes are such effective writing tools and why all effective marketing strategies are based on the “big story.”

Good stories make for engaging conversations but your story won’t get heard if you never initiate the conversation.

Also, your story needs to be credible and it needs to be honest.

3. Don’t boast

No-one likes to hear you brag. Really.

“You increased traffic how much?” We don’t care.

“It’s how big?” We don’t care.

Even when you have the hard facts on hand to prove your claims.

I guess people hate bragging because the source of the information is inherently biased and therefore unreliable.

Far more effective is to find a third (or fourth) party to brag for you. That’s why testimonials are such effective marketing tools. That’s why its so much better for another blog or website to sing your praises. The more independent of you they are, the more trusted their opinion. 

4. Know what you’re talking about ( or make it seem that you do)

When I’m having a conversation with someone, how engaging I find it is directly proportional to how much benefit I believe I can get from listening.

If someone sounds like they don’t know what they’re talking about, I lose interest. People are innately selfish and benefit seeking – when you sound smart you send signals that what you have to say can offer benefit to the listener. The result? They listen more closely.

5. When you’re wrong, don’t be scared to admit it

Admitting you’ve made a mistake is difficult sometimes, especially if you’re working hard on #3 and want to sound smart.

But failing to admit a glaringly obvious mistake will have the opposite effect. And anyway, when you admit your mistakes you instantly become more human, more likeable, and more trustworthy – well, most times you do. I guess it depends on what your mistake was.

We all make mistakes. Just like I did when I took too long to respond to comments on this post. The bait had attracted an audience. I needed to act quickly to set the hook. I needed to follow up with this post to keep the line taut – I had an audience interested in learning about the conversation. For whatever reason, that failure to deliver timeously was a mistake. That leads us to...

6. Be prompt with your responses

As I’ve said, with my last post I got some valuable feedback from Solomon Rothman, Barry Hurd and Mike Levin but, due to a combination of time differences and being wrapped up in a few more pressing concerns, I took too long to respond. So the hook was never set, and they were never engaged in any conversation.

The same principle applies to email communication. If your company’s website generates leads via email, you need to make sure you respond to any electronic correspondence ASAP. Too often email enquiries are deemed not worthy of an immediate reply, yet when the telephone rings, it’s likely to yield an immediate response. Is an emailling customer less important?

7. React
Conversations are better when you’ve got instant reaction. Listen, then respond. It needs to flow from one end to the other and it needs to do this dynamically.

Gauge your audience’s response and tailor your reaction to suit. Monitor and fine tune. That’s what makes it engaging and that’s what makes it interactive – it’s a push-pull thing.

These rules focus on the online conversation, but they can easily apply to conversation in the broader context. It’s not purely a marketing thing. It’s a human interaction thing.

These are not hard and fast immutable laws of the conversational universe. Mix them, match them, explore their contradictions.

Does this post follow these rules? You tell me…