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Alice Gnodde

Facebook - Friendship's 'Lost & Found'

by Alice Gnodde

2007/07/10

Ryan says, "Hi Alice!
Damn, it's been a while hey?! How have you been?
It's cool to see so many familiar OW faces out there!
Hope that you're doing well!
Take care!
Ryan."

The above message came attached to a Friend Request on Facebook. If you’re on Facebook, you probably know the drill; blast from the past. It was a major reason that I was particularly hesitant about joining Facebook in the first place – people who tend to take the ‘finding old friends’ act a bit too far.

Who was this ‘Ryan’ character anyway? It took me quite a while to get the old memory mill up and running. The reference to my old high school was a good start. I have vague recollections of someone I think I used to refer to as the Oros Man due to a particularly orange complexion. In all honesty, I don’t think that I even knew his name in high school (not because I was ‘too cool’ - on the contrary, I was a social hermit).

The strange thing about the Facebook phenomenon is its tendency towards the connections that you already have or have had. The reason why I simply don’t ‘get it’ is because I’ve made an effort to keep in contact with pretty much all of the people I have wanted to keep in contact with.

Ryan and I went to high school together for 5 years. That’s enough time to have allowed for some kind of bond to form. The way I see it, we’ve had our window period and nothing much happened. So why not leave it at that? I don’t hold any sentimental attachments to my high school so I don’t care much for rehashing ‘old times’.

Maybe I’m being a Scrooge here, but I’d much rather focus on the spectacular people who are currently close to me and those that I am to meet in the future. Our days can be far better spent than with yearbook in hand, trying to reignite something that was too weak to sustain itself, if it even existed in the first place.

Comments

Amen Sister! I completely agree - if we wanted to stay in contact with all these half breeds from our past, then we all would have made the effort. On top of that, everything seems insubstantial - the mail / message, the groups, the profiles. I dread the impact it has on offline conversions too - everyone is saying " youll never guess who i just found on Facebook". Excuse me i think i just puked in my mouth.

Posted by Ant on 2007/07/10

Nice.
I actually considered writing a template reply letter for such situations.
Or simply announcing on the profile that I simply 'don't want to know' if I haven't been in contact with the person for over 2 years.
Oh well.
Comes with the territory, I guess.

Posted by Alice on 2007/07/10


Wny can't you just say no?

That's what I do.

It's exactly the same as bumping into them in the street. Obligatory hellos and friend requests to get the Friend numbers up. And, people are always curious how the hermits turn out.

Same thing happens on Myspace.

Maybe this Ryan person fancied you in high school. Or maybe he's Christian.

Posted by Kasia Gnodde on 2007/07/10

Pretty harsh Alice - no wonder you were a social hermit in high school..... ;)

Posted by Heidi on 2007/07/10

I agree with Kasia and I think that if you are taking care and making effort with the special friends that you have in your life, a quick chat with someone from long ago is not too much asked. I have fabulous friends and facebook hasn't replaced my efforts with them.

Posted by SuperSanti on 2007/07/13

hi Sammy it has been a while not seeing u. i really want to see u again.wherever you are,it could be in South Africa or your home Epypt know that the is someone who still cares for you.

Posted by Rorisang on 2007/07/19

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