Internet-lessness is defined as “an absence of a connection to the Internet resulting from high connection costs and/or a lack of knowledge of the benefits of being connected to the Internet”.

People with Internet-lessness:

• may be so uninformed that they don’t know what Internet-lessness is
• don’t know what LOL, OMG and WTF mean
• look for information in something called a “library”
• think Facebook is a novel about an A-Team character
• slap people when they say they’re going to Google them
• think that people who ask if they have a blog are enquiring about their bowel movement
• think YouTube is the bendy bit on the back of the toilet
• don’t know the difference between ADSL and RSVP

Signs that someone you know might have Internet-lessness include:

• they go to something called a “post office” in order to buy a “stamp” to affix to an “envelope”
• they think an mp3 is a coalition of Ministers of Parliament
• they think a search engine is another name for a helicopter”