Without playing into obvious gender stereotypes, it’s safe to say that men and women are essentially quite different. Before you go getting your knickers in a knot about it, think it through. Whether as a result of nature or nurture, we typically approach situations in different ways and have marginally disparate interests. Inevitably, human nature is such that these differences often result in conflict or, more specifically, in a sense of superiority on the part of each sex. These days, in the workplace, these discrepancies are largely irrelevant - across many industries there is a healthy balance of men and women. However, it is not always the case. In certain fields, like engineering, I.T and all things ‘tech,’ it is still very much a man’s world.
Image Credit: SA_Steve
While this is not a problem per se, it can be challenging for the few (brave) women who find that their calling lies in this area. It begins in university – I spoke to a first year civil engineering student on Sunday who informed me that out of his class of 300, there were 10 girls. It then goes on to be a factor in the workplace – in our team of software engineers, there is one woman – Soph Raw. She fortunately has the whole ‘survival’ thing covered – she’s the team leader and thus effectively, the boss. Go Soph. For those women not lucky enough to be able to lord over their male colleagues, I chatted to a couple of ‘women in tech’ who have to following advice to offer:
1. You’re not a man - don’t try to behave like one.
A common approach, I’m told, is to completely mask your femininity. One engineer I know, bought 6 pairs of wide-legged, high-waisted pants before she started her current job because she assumed that looking ‘girly’ would put her at a disadvantage. Mission critical is for women to realise that their sex is not a hindrance – as women, you have a lot to offer in your own right. This applies not only to the way you look, but to the way in which you approach situations. Be yourself and get comfortable with that.
2. Prove yourself through your work.
Professional women (in tech and elsewhere) often worry about being taken seriously. Realistically, this is in part because they aren’t, and in part as a result of natural insecurity bred of social conditioning. Also, it’s hard to believe that your colleague is listening to your new astrophysical theory of chondrites when he is staring at your chest. (Give the guy a break – if he’s an astrophysicist, he probably hasn’t seen many of those). There are two ways to respond to this – one is to overreact each time you feel that you aren’t being heard or listened to. The other is to brush off the slights and teasing and use your brain and ability to earn respect. That’s not to say that real discrimination does not exist in the workplace. It does, and I in no way want to detract from the seriousness of that. In fact, if your complaint is a real one - be outspoken about it and ensure that real sexual harassment is not something tolerated in your organisation. That said, eventually time will separate out those people who do their job well and those people who don’t. Being taken seriously is much more about fitting into the former category that it is about kicking up a fuss about sexism because a colleague doesn’t like your ideas. Before you get offended, re-read sentences 7,8 and 9 of this paragraph.
3. Don’t be too girly.
This is not as obvious a contradiction to my above point as you might imagine. While I’m not advocating hiding your femininity, flaunting it is also a bad idea. Bear in mind that these are your colleagues and not your book club – they don’t want to hear about your kids, your partner (who just won’t propose no matter how many hints you drop) or your neighbour’s boob job. However much you dislike it, you do have to pay attention to how you dress and how you behave with men. My colleague had this to offer: “never brush your hair at your desk.” It sounds trivial, but is it really? The people you work with (men and other women) are deciding how to read you and frivolity will not score you any points.
4. Play to your strengths and work on your weaknesses.
There’s no doubt that for whatever reason, men and women are good at different things. No, I’m not talking about women’s ability to make a home and raise babies (although we rock at that) or men’s natural inclination toward opening jars and fixing things (although they mostly have it) - I’m talking about the other stuff; like empathy. For one reason or another (and we are not here to debate as to why) our brains work differently. Neither one is better nor worse overall, but each has their advantages and disadvantages. Lead by example in your office in the hope that your male counterparts will learn something from you and by the same token, analyse their behaviour and see what you can gain from it. Dismissing your colleagues based on their gender is no different to the same happening in reverse.
5. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
If you’re looking for a sure-fire way to get kicked out of the boys’ club and banned for life, here it is: take offence at obnoxious jokes, get in everyone’s faces about political correctness and clear your throat meaningfully every time someone refers possessively to ‘their chick’ or ‘bird’. In the eyes of everyone you work with (particularly the chauvinist pigs and the less uptight women) this will set you apart from the group and define you as a ‘woman’. It will also play into all the gender associations that go along with that (overly emotional, no sense of humour, high admin etc etc etc). This is not altogether a bad thing, but surely you want to be seen as a ‘person’ rather than someone defined by your gender? More than that though, in all likelihood, you’re getting stressed out for no good reason. The battle of the sexes is age old and attitudes won’t change because you lose your temper over a word you consider derogatory. And it’s bad for your blood pressure. Sit back, relax and have a laugh at your own expense. That’s what men do :).
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interesting read.
a topic that is rarely covered by most.
Posted by blade on 2010/02/10